In our local newspaper last week these words were used to describe me in an article announcing an Ad Hoc Community Transportation Committee that I have been appointed to serve on. These few words caused me to pause.
These three words go a long way to describe my life at this point in time. Of course, there are other descriptive words that denote life roles such as husband, father, grandfather, teacher, radio host and friend. Writer, community volunteer can also be verbs because they describe what I spend a lot of time in my life doing. Writer, community volunteer describes two things that I am passionate about. I am fortunate because I am financially secure and right now everyone I care about is in good health and not at risk for any major health concern. Sometimes I do have trouble balancing the time I devote to writing and community volunteering. It is easy for me to become entangled in local issues and spend time researching, networking and attending meetings for various community activities. All of those things are time NOT writing. Frankly, sometimes I think I use my involvement in community activities to distract myself and avoid writing. It happens. I always come back to writing because it is who I am. So, life is good now – writer, community volunteer.
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Throughout the year I have shared with readers my journey in writing the third book in my Ian Murphy trilogy. Writing about the experience is therapeutic and my way of sharing the journey with other writers. Each writer’s journey is very individualistic although we share many things in common.
I have had detours, roadblocks, crushing doubt, and re-writing so far on the journey. I have always planned a book of about 80,000 to 85,000 words and this week I reached 68,300 which is 80-85% complete. From the outset my vision for the conclusion was that Ian learns to conquer his darkness and alcoholism by writing his memoir stage play and resolving all of his outstanding issues. I also wanted to have other characters, Caitlin his sister, Brianna his niece and his new friend William all find what they are looking for. In short – a grand feel good ending. This week the dark cloud of darkness and doubt descended on me as I thought about how to craft the final chapters in the manuscript. I felt uncomfortable with the direction I was taking. I didn’t understand why after nine months working on the manuscript I was experiencing ennui. The original ending I envisioned just didn’t feel honest. Then the word “contrition” rose to the surface of my consciousness. Ian didn’t express contrition. I wrote to my muse Brigid and explained my dilemma. I re-imagined the final scene in the book to have Ian publically express regret for his role in the IRA. My view was incomplete and I was unsure of the authenticity so I asked Brigid for help. Brigid suggested that at the end of the play Ian rush the stage and play himself in the final scene and give an impromptu speech expressing contrition for life he had lead. The audience would be stunned at his appearance on stage. Ian’s final act becomes one of self-discovery and dead reckoning. Ian learns and accepts who he is by understanding his past. We are after all, the sum of all our decisions. Brigid gave the ending that explosive finish and presented a path to build tension into the final chapter as Ian watches the play performed. Ian will experience a euphoric moment – close curtains – THE END. My muse once again shines light into my writing life. Last week in preparation of the 9/11 Memorial I shared the story of my son, Jeff, participating in a
Re-enactment of the rescue effort at the World Trade Center. Jeff and his friend Lee trained together for months and were “buddies for the climb”. The climb took place at the Renaissance Building in downtown Dallas. Thousands of firefighters and police made the climb. Firefighters wear 70 pounds of gear, just like the FDNY personnel wore on 9/11. The 110 story climb began at the same time as tower one began to collapse fifteen years ago. When registering for the climb each participant was given an envelope with a picture of the person who lost their life that day. Jeff and Lee climbed for FDNY firefighter Michael Ragusa from Engine 279. This event is close to the heart and soul of every firefighter and making the climb for one of their comrades dramatically increases the personal commitment to complete the climb. Throughout the day Jeff texted me updates and images of his experience. The climb up took him an hour and he said the last 30 flights were grueling, the most challenging he has ever had. This from a man who puts out fires on jet fighters. I’ve included two images to share. The first is Jeff and Lee walking down the last flight. As a father I saw the exhaustion on Jeff’s face. Lee is looking back over his left shoulder making sure Jeff is on track with him. The second image shows two comrades arm in arm after they hydrated and had the strength to smile again. I don’t intend to use a biased expression but among firefighters there is a special brotherhood, a bond, which is difficult to comprehend if not a firefighter. I am unabashedly proud of Jeff and Lee. Not only do they demonstrate for us how to “Not Forget” they show us how to honor those who died and how we persevere and deny terrorist victory. For images from the event, go to: http://www.dallasstairclimb.com/ If I used just those two words would you have any idea what I was referring to? This September 11th marks 15 years since the attack in New York and Washington D.C. A total of 2996 people died that day. Of those 343 were firefighters in New York City in their heroic effort to save others.
At the time my son was an Air Force firefighter serving at Lackland Air Force Base in San Antonio, Texas. Like many others his instinct was to get on a plane and help out those in need. Due to security all forces, including firefighters, were grounded. I worry that 15 years has been to long of a time and our memories blur and fade. We live with terrorism every day now. Just going to an airport or attending a marathon may result in being another innocent victim. I think each of us must do two things. First, do not live in fear. I believe the primary mission of terrorist is to instill fear and the second is to kill. How we live we can demonstrate to potential terrorist that we do not live in fear. The citizens of Paris have shown the world how to live on after a terrorist attack. Second, we must never forget and we must honor all the victims of 9/11. Since my son is still a firefighter it is easy to remember. Across the nation there are organizations working to raise funds for fallen firefighters, one is the National Fallen Firefighters Foundation. To raise funds for the foundation a Memorial Climb will be held in Dallas on 9/11. Firefighters will wear 70 pounds of gear and climb the exact number of steps that the firefighters at the World Trade Center climbed in their effort to save people. I am proud that my son and one of his firefighter buddies will participate in the Memorial Climb. Here is a link to the Memorial Climb event, the firefighter on the left is my son: https://www.crowdrise.com/hinton-and-owens--dallas-911--memorial--stair-climb |
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