​‘We need obstacles’ is likely not a statement that will receive wide support.  For as long as it takes you to read this blog I ask you to suspend your criticism and your natural bias and let me explain. 
Neil DeGrasse Tyson is an astrophysicist and popularizer of modern science.  He’s the Director of the Hayden Planetarium in New York City and hosts the television program ‘Star Talk’.  He describes his television series as the cross roads for popular culture and science.  Recently he interviewed jazz greats Herbie Hancock and Wayne Shorter.  Tyson asked his guests to compare creativity in music with creativity in science.
Hancock had an interesting response.  He said in music you create something that has never previously existed.  For example, a Bach fugue could only have been composed by Bach.  Art creates something new out of nothing.  Science, on the other hand, is to reveal and understand something that previously existed.  For example, the laws of physics.
The other difference is that artists need resistance or obstacles in order to refine and polish what they create.  The analogy he used is that an airplane is able to fly because of air resistance over the wings which creates lift.  Resistance or obstacles gives an artist “lift”.  Think about how critique groups can help with your writing.  Think about how we rely on editors to help polish our prose, correct our grammar, guide our plot and make our characters believable.
To be an artist means that we have resistance to our art, to what we create.  Without resistance our writing would be incomplete.  Resistance is how we hone our art.  A serious artist must learn not only to accept resistance but to embrace it as part of the creative process.  Steinbeck tried but couldn’t come up with a title for Grapes of Wrath.  His wife suggested the title based on the hymn, The Battle Ground of the Republic.   

​Should you enter the Book Award game?
It is about as difficult for a self-published author to get noticed as it is to undertake a mission to colonize Mars.  Two of the most common ways to gain attention for your work is through book reviews or book contests.  Here’s the rub – the self-published author must pay a fee to enter the contest.  Everybody has their hand out to help a self-published author; the problem is they expect you to put money in their hand to help.
I subscribe to the Writer’s Digest because they have a number of interesting articles every month on the craft of writing and the business of writing.  They have supported self-published authors for years.  In fact, they run a self-published author contest annually and this is their 25th year.   The prizes include:
One Grand Prize for $8000 and a feature article in their magazine and a trip to their annual convention
First Prize in a Category $1000 (there are 8 categories) and other promotional items
Total cash prizes $16,000
Sounds alluring.
But WAIT.  The entrance fee for a book is $99 plus the cost of your book plus shipping.  In my case it would cost me about $121 to enter this contest.  There is a potential to win only one of two prizes – the Grand Prize or the Category Prize.
Los Vegas is required to inform you of the odds of a winning a game when you gamble.  I think that all book competitions should inform entrants on how many submissions they receive each year.  With that information you could roughly calculate your odds of winning.  For example, if 9451 people enter the literary fiction category – my odds would be 1 in 9451 or 0.0001.  For the grand prize let’s say 23,801 submit entries so my odds would be 1 in 23,801 or 0.00004.
Of course, self-published authors must invest in themselves.  I accept that.  I compare the cost of entering a contest to how many books I would need to sell just to break even.  In my example, above, I would need to sell between 8-9 books to break even.  The problem is, just entering the contest doesn’t gain me anything, I would need to win in order to get enough promotion to sell those 8-9 books, then you need to look hard at the odds of winning.
I’ve researched and was unable to learn how many submissions there are each year so it’s impossible to determine your odds of winning.
There is something that doesn’t settle right with me for any award that I have to pay for to receive.  A rational analysis indicates it’s not a good investment for a self-published author.  

​I let the manuscript for my third book in the Ian Murphy series Dead Reckoning cool off in December with the self promise to begin the re-writing/editing process in January.  I followed my plan and have finished with the read through.
I promised to be honest with myself and all of you who read my blog.  I have a lot of work ahead of me.  One overwhelming problem is assuming that readers know some things because they have read both Murphy’s Troubles and Out of Darkness.  The final story has context and to be honest it is a mystery to me on how to provide that without a tremendous amount of back story in the final book.  It is probably more honest to call the books a trilogy rather than a series because it is one overarching story not different stories with the same primary characters in each book.  If anyone has experience writing a trilogy, please e-mail is at: [email protected] with suggestions on how to handle this conundrum.
The second major problem is that the first several chapters contain good material on the inciting incident that propels Ian Murphy into his final journey.  What the chapters don’t do well is establish the primary conflict or explain what Ian desperately needs to complete his journey.  I know that will require substantial re-writing.
Following the initial chapters I was fairly self-satisfied with the plot, pace and story until I reached Chapter 16.  After reading Chapter 16 I had to ask myself why I wrote the Chapter because it didn’t contribute to the story or move the plot along.  In fact, it was a solid granite mountain in the story, that chapter must go.
The final problem is the last chapter of the manuscript.  I wanted it to be the ‘Final Solution’ to Ian’s life with a flair for the dramatic and emotionally satisfying to the reader.  It fails those goals totally.  The last chapter is like milk toast and I closed the story abruptly.  Fortunately, I’m submitting the last chapter to author/teacher/friend Christine DeSmet for a critique in conjunction with the 2017 Wisconsin Writer’s Institute.  I will still need to do some serious editing to get rid of the sloppiness before sharing the draft with Christine.
The first read had opened my eyes and confirmed the truth that all good writing is re-writing.        

​Fences
 
Part of our family live in a suburb west of Dallas and north of Fort Worth.  I’ve learned that local residents call it the megaplex.  From my visits there I would agree that is an accurate description of the area.  Even the airport is called DFW (Dallas Fort Worth) – there is another airport closer to downtown Dallas – Love Field, that name must have been an oversight – DFW fits the area much better.
Our family lives in a gated community.  You can drive in the entrance without passing through gates or a guard posted on duty but every home – repeat EVERY home is gated.  It is a requirement to live in the subdivions.
Most fences are wood from four to more than seven feet tall.  The tall fences are called privacy fences because it’s impossible to see through or over the fence to whatever is going on in that space.  Some fences are three foot high decorative metal.  I guess those folks don’t mind if you spy on their daily living.
One home, just a few houses away from our family has a metal electronic gate on their driveway.  It’s quite elaborate and there are also cameras visible – guarding against possible intrusion.  Almost every home has a sign placed visibly by the front entrance that they are protected by security.  I’ve always thought it would be cheaper to build a fake sign and stick in the ground rather than paying for the expensive service.
So, walking around the neighborhood with my grandchildren I wondered what all these homeowners were afraid of.  Why do they want to live in a fenced off community?  Who exactly are they excluding?  Are they afraid of me?  Are they expecting terrorists?
No one in America should live in fear.  Do we really need gated communities?  If we do, we’ve got a problem.   

​Not a Movie Review
Several weeks ago I saw the movie “Fences” starring Denzel Washington and Viola Davis and need to share the experience with my readers, not as a movie review but as a writer.  While I find movies entertaining I strongly prefer live stage performance.  We subscribe to our local professional theater, attend several American Players Theater productions every year and support amateur civic theater when possible.
The movie was originally a stage play by August Wilson based on a series of 10 plays he called The Pittsburgh Cycle.  Each play is set in a different decade and relates the black experience in northern cities (Pittsburgh and Chicago).  “Fences” covers the decade of the 1950’s and was first produced at the Yale Rep in 1985.  “Fences” as won the Pulitzer Prize, the Tony Award, and the Drama Desk Award.  Both Denzel Washington and Viola Davis appeared in the Broadway play and in the current movie.  Their experience with their roles comes through vividly in the movie.  Denzel Washington also directs the movie version.
Washington plays Tory, a garbage man living in the inner city – not poor – he owns his own home but not yet middle class.  Tory is flawed and as an audience member found him difficult to like and the character does not make any transition.  At the close of the movie it is Tory’s inability and unwillingness to change that transforms him into a tragic character.
August Wilson has a talent for presenting black lives and their struggles in a way that is understandable and sympathetic.  He is also able to move through time by the dialogue.  One of the most riveting scenes in when Tory tells his wife he has been having an affair with another woman by announcing to her in the kitchen that he’s going to be a father.
Wilson’s writing is both universal and specific.  It is specific to the time period and experience of African Americans while at the same time universal to any time period or group of people.  Many times the pace of the dialogue is very fast and I had to lean forward to capture every word.  Washington is able to develop a cadence to the dialogue that captures you for more than two hours.  For about 2/3 of the movie Viola Davis portrays a submissive wife doing what she feels is right while knowing her “place”.  With the birth of Tory’s daughter from another woman (who dies in childbirth) Davis catapults out of her submissive life to be extremely strong and independent as she agrees to raise the child as its mother because the child is, of course, innocent.
The writing is intriguing because Washington’s character believes with his whole heart that he is doing what is right and expected by being “responsible” for his family – a roof over their heads, three square meals a day and clothing.  In a unique plot twist he uses his accomplishments in fulfilling his responsibility as an excuse for his extra marital affair.
“Fences” is simply excellent writing and I would encourage readers to read the play and or attend a live production or the movie version.  It will change your life.           

​It seems appropriate to devote my post for the first of the New Year to the idea of legacy.  Over the holidays we hand friends over for dinner.  My friend retired after working over 40 years at UW-Madison.   I consider that quite an accomplishment.  The only other person I know to work for one organization for that many years was my Dad.  It just doesn’t happen any longer.
My friend is struggling with his new found freedom.  While enjoying a few appetizers and a knock out bloody Mary (we do live in Wisconsin after all) he said he wanted to have a legacy.  He wants to do something that he is passionate about and would represent his legacy.  He’s worried that he has maybe only 10 active years left.  It is a mystery to me why he thinks he only has 10 active years left because he’s my age 65.  I fully expect to throttle into my 90’s.  He said he’s searching for something that he can contribute to build his legacy.
I found his idea surprising and unusual.  In fact, I couldn’t get to sleep that evening because what he proposes to do was unsettling and I didn’t know why.  It took me about a day but then the answer popped out of my subconscious.  
We are not in control of our legacy.  Others will decide for us if we’ve done work that deserves to be viewed as a legacy.  Also it is unusual to have the purpose of your work to be to create a legacy – it is a form of hubris.  Work that you are passionate about is done for its own sake – not with the intent to create a legacy.
Having a legacy implies that you are dead so you won’t be around to bask in your laurels or remembrance.  In the final act of my life I want to spend my time working on things I’m passionate about – writing and being a leader at my local library.  I don’t have time to worry about leaving a legacy.
 

​Last week PBS conducted an excellent two part interview with Bruce Springsteen.   The interviewer asked him candidly about his bouts with depression, which the Boss as suffered throughout his life.  Springsteen explained that based on his life and those of many artists he has known; artists often have a dual nature. 
One part of the artists suffers from crushing doubt and insecurity.  That is the voice inside the artists that judges – and always judges in the negative.  The voice tells us our work is worthless and we are wasting our time trying to be creative.  It doesn’t matter what type of artists you are, a painter, a performing artist, a writer – it is a part of anyone living a creative life.
The second aspect of the artist is a tremendous ego and drive to create and express that creativity in whatever way you’ve chosen.  Many artists, in an attempt to explain their creativity and the energy they devote to it, express the creative urgency they feel.  Many writers, when asked, explain they write because they must, it is who they are as unique people.  I have written in blogs previously that writing is not what I do, writing is who I am and the words express that person.
Springsteen believes it is the duality in the artists that creates the magic of our art.  It is the constant battle between the Ying and Yang in our lives.  Springsteen believes he needs both aspects of his nature to live and to create his art.  He also expressed that his acceptance of the dual nature has made a tremendous difference in his creative life.
As we close the chapter of 2016 and begin to turn page one of 2017 as artists we need to reflect on our nature.  While it may not make any sense, it is our reality.  Accept it.  Use it.  Let it guide you to an energetic, creative, productive, achieving your potential, 2017.     

​This blog post is a day late.  It’s posted on Thursday, not Wednesday.  Yesterday we were on a plane on our way home from Fort Worth, Texas where we celebrated both Lynette’s and my granddaughter’s birthdays.  It was great to visit our Texas family for a few days.  It’s hard to have family and grandkids thousands of miles away – it’s very different from the family we have that’s five miles from our home.
Back on the last day of November I proudly blogged that I had finished my rough, draft manuscript for third historical novel Dead Reckoning.  I promised to let the manuscript “get cold” and begin editing in January.  I’ve found that I miss working on a manuscript.  It has been very tempting to open the file just to take a peak.  I’ve already had second thoughts about the final chapter, I worry that I’ve ended Ian Murphy’s story too abruptly and have ached to jump into a re-write of the last chapter.
I won’t do it.  I must have faith that the path I’ve set out for myself is the right path.  There is some solace in writing weekly blogs; however, a blog is much different than developing a story.  By writing a blog is how I know that I’m not a non-fiction writer.
So, I won’t torture myself or you by stretching out this little piece any longer – until next week then.     

​My oldest grandson is in kindergarten this year.  He had his first parent/teacher several weeks ago.  I didn’t know that they had parent/teacher conferences for kindergarten.  In my day kindergarten was a half day in a local church and my fondest memory was quiet time on a piece of carpet.  Today is a very different world.  My grandson has already been tested on how many numbers he knows, how many colors, both upper and lower case letters and a host of other things.  It’s fully fledged school.
His teacher has identified my grandson as left handed one of six in his class of 26.  A whopping 23% of the class is left handed.  We (I am a confessed left hander) make up only about 10% of the general population.  In my immediate family my Mom and Dad and three kids, two of us – the boys – are left handed.  In my world growing up I was in the majority and knew nothing else.
One of my most traumatic memories in when my 5th grade teacher insisted I wasn’t normal and insisted I should be converted to right handedness.  When I went home after school and explained my sin to parents my Dad had one of the most memorable responses.  He looked right at me and said:  “Rex, no one is going to change you from being left handed.”  The next day both my parents were in the Principal’s office demanding that my 5th grade teacher is instructed to back off.  The Principal agreed – she did – but she got even.  I received poor grades on my penmanship because I forced my hand across the page rather than dragging it and some letters were just backward for me.  One day the teacher called me to the front blackboard to demonstrate to the class how to write the letter “r”.  I wrote and everyone laughed, including the teacher.  She then asked another student to join me at the blackboard to show me how to write the letter “r”.  I was then instructed to fill the entire blackboard with “r’s”.
For my grandson it’s very different.  His teacher asked if someone in the family was left handed that my grandson could work with to show him how a left handed person writes.  I gladly accepted that assignment.  We bought a tablet that has the letters and numbers on the inside cover and then the paper with the big lines.  My grandson and I practice writing every time he visits.  He holds his pencil between his second and fourth finger which looks painful.  I tried to show him the “correct” way to hold the pencil and decided that was silly.  His way is the correct way.  Now we have fun together on projects that require writing.  This weekend he made a birthday card for his cousin.       
I’m so happy that my grandson won’t ever experience trauma at school because he’s left handed.

​To is the last day of November.  I finished my manuscript on Monday and in its rough draft form I finished with 86,366 words.  I wanted to write a novel with 80,000-85,000 words so I’m not far off the mark.  It is anyone’s guess how many words the published novel will have.  At the beginning of the year I wanted to finish the draft by the close of December and now find myself done a full month early.  Who could have anticipated that?
What has the journey been like, you ask.  It was been both a surprise and revealing.  I know myself well enough to give myself a weekly word writing goal – simple math – 85.000 words divided by 52 weeks is 1635 words a week.  I also know myself well enough to know I couldn’t sustain writing every week, so I fudged the weekly goal and made it 1750 a week, to ensure that I would at least get the rough draft done this year.
Just like the first time I gave myself a weekly writing goal I found that I often exceeded my goal.  It’s a matter of rhythm and losing myself in the story.  As is my nature, I recorded every week how many words I wrote, even it was zero.  As it turns out there were eight weeks that I didn’t write a single word.  Looking back on the process, it is a wonder than I finished by the end of November.  There was also a two week period devoted to re-writing the first three chapters which I decided was needed after comments from my editor.  So, rather than a nice smooth pattern of weekly creativity, my path was fraught with starts, stops and repeat.  A mirror of life.
I’ve read a lot on how to edit your own work.  For my last book I dived in with a red pen soon after writing ’The End’ and worked on sentence structure, grammar and spelling.  This time I’m taking a different approach.  First, I’m going to take a break in December and not read a single word of the draft.
Then in January I’m going to print out all 346 pages and read it.  I need to see if the story has my interest and hangs together.  For the second reading I’m going to concentrate of plot and pacing.  The third reading will explore characters, their relationships with each other and their authenticity.  The fourth reading will look at sentence structure, word choice, tense and technical grammar issues.  After that I’ll let someone else have read for their reaction.
The Wisconsin Writer’s Institute is offering full manuscript reviews this year and my teacher Christine De
Smet is offering the service.  I’m going to sign up for a full manuscript review, the first time I’ve used this approach when the person isn’t also my publisher.  For Out of Darkness, Christine Keleny worked as both my editor and publisher.  I don’t know, maybe it’s something about the name Christine.
I hope to launch Dead Reckoning to the world by this time next year – wish me luck.