April 05th, 2017

​The Writers Conference Series-The Dirty Little Secret
 
I have been attending the annual Wisconsin Writer’s Institute Conferences for 15 years and it that time the conference has changed as the publishing industry has changed.  Every year that I’ve attended I have taken away big ideas, met new friends, learned about craft, been inspired and tried to find a literary agent.
I am writing this blog for male writers who attend writing conferences.  That doesn’t mean I’m excluding females – who in their right mind would do that.  My experience is that men have a different experience from women who attend writing conferences.  I’m not making a judgment about that – but stating a truth – at least from my perspective.
The dirty little secret is that about 90% of those attending the Wisconsin Writer’s Institute are women.  I consider myself a gregarious, open person and I thoroughly enjoy meeting and talking with everyone.  However, being in a room with 270 women and about 30 men is overwhelming.  The first morning of the conference is held in a large room where the Director Laurie Scheer makes introductory remarks and the conference keynote is presented.  I looked over the sea of white cloth covered round tables searching for a few other men.  I spotted a table with two men which meant if I joined them there would be at least three men at a six person table.  I plopped down my cup of coffee and asked if I could join them although my body language shouted, “I’m here to sit with you.”  Maybe it’s tribal?  Maybe it’s just comfort with your own kind – I don’t know.
Between sessions there is time to grab a beverage and or a snack and mingle.  The women do most of the mingling – with other women.  In between one session I noticed one man awkwardly looking at all the name tags of folks walking close to him.  He spotted me:  “Hi Rex, I’m Phil.”  A straightforward bold self-introduction.  I learned that Phil lived in the northern woods of Wisconsin and had traveled south to catch an agent.  He wrote futuristic/fantasy/sci-fi and was pitching 5 agents.  His goal was to get a contract with an agent that weekend.  The agent would help him get a contract with a major traditional publisher who would agree to a first printing of 5000.  Phil oozed with naiveté but I didn’t want to discourage him.
Throughout the conference mini groups of women huddled in the hallway or the corner of a lecture room or in the hotel lobby.  They appeared to be engaged in animated conversation and laughing.  I guess I could have joined any of the groups but I felt like I would be imposing.
I met a woman at one writer’s conference several years ago who has become both a professional colleague and friend.  We both attended the same lecture class that was interactive.  We sat next to other several seats apart and were given instructions for an interactive assignment.  We looked at each other, smiled and said – OK.  Over the years our relationship has grown and it all started at a writer’s conference.
I just want the men who attend writer’s conferences to be prepared.  It will be fine, even though your initial reaction may be one of intimidation or unease.  Trust me, it will pass.