​“I have finished the majority of the edit but I'm sorry to say what I noticed is that the story lacks punch.”  This was the first sentence in an e-mail my editor, Christine Keleny, sent me after copy editing the manuscript for my third novel Dead Reckoning.  That one sentence was concise, straightforward and painfully honest.  Writers need someone who will be honest with them and for years Christine has been that person for me along with Christine DeSmet (must be something about the name Christine).
Further in the e-mail she offered me a choice, I could ignore for critique, review the copy editing and move along with the manuscript or I could review her developmental edits and undertake deep revision.  I didn’t hesitate in making my decision, I will do deep editing.
When I finished the manuscript I had this nagging fear “is this enough” meaning is the story compelling enough.  Put another way – will anyone give a damn what happens to the protagonist – Ian Murphy.  Before submitting my manuscript to Christine I read it at least three times cover to cover.  I knew the ending was critical and focused on the last several chapters, wanting the tension to crescendo and end with a triumphant upbeat.
I began the novel with Ian’s best friend, Kieran Fitzpatrick, dying unexpectedly of a massive heart attack during weekday mass.  Kieran’s death puts Ian’s life in a tailspin.  Christine’s next comment is intriguing:  “So what I see is you tell too much to the reader  - particularly toward the end. There is very little building of tension/building of tensions related to the two major questions - will he do it?”  I will need to work to understand this comment.  I confess to giving the reader a lot of detail but I don’t understand how the outcome is a lack of tension. 
I had been developing a list of publishers who accept unsolicited manuscripts and drafting a standard query letter that I could adapt for each submission.  Another friend, Marshall Cook, is helping me craft the query letter.  Those jobs need to be set on the proverbial “back burner”; I need to concentrate on the craft of storytelling.
I’m going to give myself a few days to adjust mentally and emotionally.  I’ll print the manuscript this week and begin by reviewing all her comments next week.  Then I’ll pause again for a few days, maybe a week, to absorb Christine’s comments.  I’ll be ready to begin the re-write after following this process.
I want to be the best writer I can be, the journey is a constant learning experience and I must carry on.
   

​I’ve begun the process to search for an independent publisher to accept the third novel on the Ian Murphy series.  I used the same search process with my first novel, Murphy’s Troubles.  I gave myself a year to find a publisher and signed a contract with a small California publisher in the twelfth month of my search. 
I am learning how much the process of hunting for a publisher has changed.  In 2011 I used the Deluxe Edition of Writer’s Market.  I still have the 2010 edition, which I suppose I could use again because I marked all the publishers and agents I sent queries to.  This time I googled ‘publishers who accept unsolicited manuscripts’ and this week developed a list of forty potential publishers.   Next, I am reviewing back issues of Writer’s Digest because they list publishers who accept novels.  My goal is to have a list of 60-75 that I can send queries to.  Who knows what the right number is.
The first time I went down this path I gave myself a year to land a publishing contract.  This time I’ve given myself six months.  Why the change?  For my second book I used an assisted publishing service, CK Books- ckbookspublishing.com.  The owner, Christine Keleny, is editing Dead Reckoning.  If I’m not successful contracting with a traditional publisher I’ll have CKBooks publish my novel.
The requirements for submitting an unsolicited manuscript have changed.  In 2011 I would send a query letter, a synopsis and maybe the first chapter of the book.  Today you need to send a query letter; a synopsis; a back of the book blurb; up to fifty pages of manuscript; your publishing history and a marketing plan.  The marketing plan is a new element.  I suppose it demonstrates to the publisher that you are serious about your work, understand that the author will do 98% of the marketing, and have some hope of success.
In 2012 I wrote a marketing plan that sits in a three ring binder on the bottom shelf of the bookcase in my office.  I will review my original plan, of course, but suspect it is dated.  So, once again, I googled ‘marketing plan for a novel’ and found a wide range of material.  I printed off three examples I liked and will use them as a guide to develop a new marketing plan.
I’m guessing it will take me a month to put together all the elements of my campaign before I send the first query to a publisher.  This is work folks, don’t let anyone suggest to you otherwise.  Writing the best damn book you can is the starting point – not the end.
  

​Hive Collapse
 
I must be honest and report that I am a complete failure at beekeeping this year.  My friend and I bought our bee “packages” about six weeks ago, one for each hive.  A “package” contains a queen and her attendants and about 5 pounds of bees.  Don’t ask me how they weigh the bees and I am strangely incurious about it.  I accept as a matter of beekeepers honor that we get five pounds of bees.  The queen comes in a tiny cage with 3 or 4 attendants.  There is a plug of sugar keeping the queen and her retinue in the cage.  The cage fits between several bee frames in the hive.  In the perfect world as the bees explore their new home they are attracted to the sugar gate of the queen’s cage.
We followed the process to install our packages in the hive to a “T”.  Then you allow 3 days for the bees to eat through the sugar gate of the queen’s cage and release her to do her job.  At the end of 3 days you check to be sure queen has escaped and the forages are foraging and the comb builders are building comb and all is right with the world.  Then you allow 21 days to pass.  After 21 days you check that the comb has been “pulled” on at least 6 of 10 frames.
I checked-nothing.  Absolutely nothing.  The only answer was that the queen was dead or worst case scenario, the bees rejected the queen and killed her.  No queen – no hive.  That’s the rules of beekeeping.
I checked with my supplier, they had queens available and assured me there was still time to have a healthy hive.  It would be problematic if I could harvest honey this year but I could have a healthy hive going into winter.  My provider was generous and gave me the second queen, which usually cost $40.
I followed the same procedure as earlier in the month.  This past Saturday, June 17th, marked day 21 and I could open the hive and peek in on their homemaking.  I’ve been worried for weeks because I haven’t seen a lot of bee activity around the hive, even on nice, humid, 90 degree days.  I opened the hive.  There wasn’t anything in the top box, not even any bees.  By this time there should have been several frames of brood.  I took the top box off and set it on the grass.  I looked into the second box and found a few bees dancing on top of the wood frame – but just a few – there should have been hundreds, thousands.  To be safe I smoked them.
I pulled up a frame in the center of the box – nothing – clean as a whistle.  Bees usually work from the middle out.  I checked the area where I left the queen and there was no evidence she had been in residence for weeks.  I pulled a frame on one side and found where drones had been born – not more than 30.  A hive needs drones but not a lot of them.  After they do their job they die to leave the lady bees build brood and take care of the little ones. 
The lack of normal bee homemaking probably explains the lack of bee foraging outside the hive.  Without a queen a bee hive cannot survive.  By the end of summer there should be 10,000 bees in a hive.  I doubt if my hive has 500 bees and they will keep dying off.
It is too late in the season, at least in Wisconsin, for the bees to recover.  My hive collapsed.  No honey this year.
The End
 

​I never answer phone calls from numbers I don’t know, especially when the call is long distance.  Most of the time, a long distance call is the American Red Cross begging for bodily fluid.  It’s always an emergency with the Red Cross.  I do like to donate blood, when and where I want to and I don’t need to be asked several times a week.
The second rule I have is that I wait to learn if the caller from an unknown message leaves a voicemail message.  Most robo calls don’t or can’t leave a voice mail.  The American Red Cross has conquered that mountain too, the damn machine leaves a message – so I don’t listen to messages from New Jersey and other mysterious places.
A call about 8:15 one evening last week didn’t meet my criteria for ignoring it and the area code for the number was 414 – Milwaukee.  I didn’t listen to the message until about 9:00 pm.  The person introduced themselves as Maricolette Walsh from the Milwaukee Irish Fest.  She had read my second novel, Out of Darkness, and wanted to invite me to participate in the Literary Corner this year to sell my book.  She explained she sent me an e-mail the previous week and was worried when I didn’t respond to her invitation.  She took the initiative to call me.
Wow!  I’ve only been invited to two other Irish centric events, the Oshkosh Irish Fest three years ago and an Irish pub in Appleton.  I had attended the 2014 Milwaukee Irish Fest Literary Corner but I wasn’t invited.  At that time the process was to submit your book, someone read it and judged if the author was appropriate for the Fest.
After listening to the message I called Maricolette back that evening and thanked her for reaching out to me by phone.  I wondered how she located my phone number and was dumbstruck that I had missed her e-mail.  Of course, I accepted the invitation.  She said in recent years, with a revised format for authors, that they reported average sales of 50 books for the weekend.   That’s excellent.  The Fest takes 20% of the sales price in lieu of a table fee and they handle all the transactions.  That’s a fair exchange because it frees an author to interact with readers and sign books after they have been purchased.
The next day I searched through my e-mail to see if I had simply missed her e-mail but came up short.  Next I searched through my trash in case I accidently toss her e-mail away.  Again, I didn’t find it in the trash.  The last resort is to check spam.  Was I surprised at what I found in my spam folder!  The one e-mail I didn’t find was one from Maricolette Walsh.  For a time I thought my e-mail address might have been misinterpreted as containing an ‘O’ versus “0” since the letter O and the number 0 are so similar.  However, Maricolette said her e-mail didn’t bounce back.  Somewhere in the universe there is a stray e-mail searching for a home.
It is rewarding to know that someone read my book and thought it good enough to garner an invitation to the 2017 Milwaukee Irish Fest – it is an honor.
Visit me on Aug. 18, 19 and 20th at the Literary Corner of the Milwaukee Irish Fest – the largest Irish Fest in the nation!  
Check out their website - irishfest.com
 
P.S.  How did she find my phone number?  I published both my e-mail and phone number in the in the back pages of Out of Darkness.  Generally I publish only my e-mail and website addresses.  Glad I included my phone number (even if it is a dumb risk).        

​After completing the manuscript for my first historical novel, Murphy’s Troubles, I devoted a year to find either an agent to represent me or a small publisher who accepted unsolicited manuscripts.  I sent out over 400 inquiry letters and in the 12th month of my search I received an offer from a boutique publisher in California.   At that time they had less than a dozen authors and published about 15 books a year.  Rather than traditional royalties they offered a flat payment per book sold.  At the time I was elated.
Over time my relationship with the publisher soured and I cancelled the contract after more than a year.  It was that experience that motivated me to contract with Create Space to self-publish Murphy’s Troubles.  The consulting services I received from Create Space were excellent and they guided me in launching a high quality book.  However, I found the process of learning the publication language and making a myriad of decisions exhausting and a distraction from additional writing.
With my second book, Out of Darkness, I took another path, assisted publishing.  A friend, Christine Keleny owns CK Books and she agreed to publish my second novel.  Christine is the penultimate professional and she guided me through the process with ease and successfully published the book on schedule.  Christine suggested I hire an independent proofreader and I paid $600 for the service.  A writer friend found 77 proofreading errors in the book.  Christine agreed to correct all of the errors and no additional cost.  I won’t be using that proofreader again.
This week I’ve finished the various edits to my third historical novel in the series, Dead Reckoning.  I have self-edited for story, plot, character and line editing.  I am hiring Christine to edit the book and make it ready to publish.
I have a strong internal desire to have my third novel traditionally published.  This week I let Christine know that, at least for the time being, I won’t be using her full assisted publishing services.  I have the vain hope that with two other historical novels published and Dead Reckoning the last in the series that a traditional publisher would give me serious consideration.  It is only conjecture on my part; I have no rationale for my conclusion.
I will give myself a minimum of 6 months and a maximum of a year to pursue a small press willing to accept unsolicited, non-agented manuscripts.  You can google:  publishers who accept unsolicited manuscripts and get a list of 40 publishers – that should be a good start.
Wish me luck.         

​If you would ask me why I like bird watching so much it would be difficult to give a succinct.  For sure I would say that birding helps my writing.  Surprised?  You shouldn’t be.
Birding  is a very activity.  The act of sitting at a desk or table or maybe balancing your laptop on your lap is also a passive activity.  Birding, successful birding requires a great deal of focus and concentration.  Writing too requires both focus and concentration.  Many fiction writers report a “loss of time” when they spend time creating and then living in their imaginary world and characters.  When I was birding in Ashland last week I was out in the woods for hours and didn’t notice the time until returning to the conservation center.
Birding requires keen observation skills using sight and sound.  Fiction writers are notorious “people watchers” and the leap from a bird watcher to a people watcher is quite small.  When birding you study the bird’s behavior to help in identifying the correct species.  I like to watch people’s behavior where ever I go.  Those behaviors appear on every page of a novel.
Birding allows a person to feel a part of the natural world, that sense of connectedness.  Writing fiction is a way to both feel and behave connected because it is a way to express who you are.
      

​On a fluke, several years ago I attending an early morning bird walk at Old World Wisconsin.  I had to leave the house by 4:30 am to arrive for the 6:00 am start.  The guide was a young man with a deep knowledge of Wisconsin bird species and the talent for calling birds with a whistle that imitated the bird call.  I was hooked.
In our backyard we feed birds all seasons and add feeders each season for different species.  In May we feed song birds, Baltimore Oriels, and hummingbirds, each with their own unique feeder.  The Baltimore Oriels will continue their journey north in a week or so.
Last I participated in the Chequamegon Birding Festival in Ashland, Wisconsin.  It was a learning experience but some of the logistics of the conference and traveling from location to location for bird sightings was difficult.  This year I attended during the conference but didn’t register for the conference classes or field trips – I was an independent birder.
It takes about five hours driving allowing for one short stop for a cup of coffee and sandwich.  A good portion of the trip is on Interstate highway until just north of Wausau.  Near Rhinelander I turned west on Highway 8 to Prentiss and then north on Highway 13 toward Ashland.  The road between Phillips and Glidden is straight as a ruler, tree lined and mesmerizing, especially after being behind the wheel about four hours.  The last stretch of the trip seems slow because often you get caught behind a slow tractor or a log hauling truck barely going 50 miles per hour.  Somewhere on that stretch of road I saw something a deer along the gravel side.  Something white popped up.  It was a large bald eagle with a piece of fresh deer meat in its bill.  The eagle didn’t move even though the car passed within four feet.  I took this sighting as a sign that it was going to be a very special birding trip.
Eagles generally hunt and eat live prey.  Scrounging a dead deer, even if recently dead, was unusual.  Eagles also hunt near or on rivers and not near a highway.  My guess was that nearby there were young eagles in a nest that needed a meal – it was the only explanation for this hunting behavior I could imagine.
When birding a person needs to be open and alert to anything that may occur without any warning.  On the drive back home I saw another eagle on the same stretch of road perched high in a tree – could have been the same eagle, I don’t know.  It has taken me years to learn how to listen, look and identify various species of birds but after this weekend I feel confident to call myself a birder.    
         

​Several weeks ago I was reviewing the daily Face Book news feeds and read one from one of the local theater groups we support.  While reading the post a pop up box asked if I would take a one minute survey.  I like to provide positive feedback when I can and a minute wasn’t a commitment.  I answered the bland, basic questions and when completed wondered why they had bothered with such a general survey.
At the end of the survey another box popped up offering me a “prize” for completing the survey.  Any other astute, masters prepared person would have had bells and whistles go off in the head yelling:  STOP.  Not me.  I looked over the list of “prizes” offered and saw a sample of garcinia and a diet cleanser.  I could always use a few pounds and there has been publicity recently about garcinia so I thought for the price of shipping it was worth a try.
The products arrived several weeks later in the mail but by the time they arrived my interest had wavered and I stuffed the package in my desk draw.  I have a problem with wavering interest.
The first week of May we received is credit card bill.  Thankfully my wife reviews it in detail before paying it (that’s why she’s in charge of the finances).  She asked me about two payments, one for $84 and one for $74.  At first, I didn’t recognize them at all.  Then I noticed they matched the payments for shipping.  I called the number listed and learned from one of those annoying messages that I was enrolled in a monthly program to supply me with the two products until I have my last day on earth.
SCAM!! I called the number provided on the credit card bill and explained I had received the sample product but had no intent or desire to participate in a monthly program.  I also challenged the customer service representative for any documentation that I had approved a monthly program.  At that point the conversation became intense.  I demanded a full refund plus cancelling the program.  The initial response what that they couldn’t do that but could offer me another month supply at half-price.
“You’re not listening to me.  I want a full refund or I am going to contact the credit card company and challenge your payment and contact the Wisconsin Better Business Bureau.”  I demanded.
“Sir, I can offer you a 50% refund and cancel the programs.”  The rep responded.
“You’re still not listening.”  I said.
“Sir, I will cancel your participation in the program now.  You will receive an e-mail notification.”
“Ok, now I want the full refund.”
“Sir, I can offer you a 75% refund right now.”
“I gave you two choices, I contact my credit card company and the Better Business Bureau or you give me the full refund now.”
“Sir, I need to ask my supervisor for permission.”
“Please do.”  - less than 10 seconds pass.
“Sir, I can offer you a 100% refund, you will receive e-mail notification.  Is there anything else I can do for you today?
“No.  Thank you.”
I feel naïve and not alert for being drawn into this scam.  I’m going to send the group I support an e-mail letting them know they have been hacked.  Caveat emptor is needed more today than at any other time.
     
 

​The theme for the annual writer’s conference is “Everyone has a Story”.  Recent research into the human brain has demonstrated that stories and storytelling is hard wired into our brains – so the theme for this year’s Lakefly conference is a truth we live by – all of us – each and every one – have a story – many stories actually.  The conference is sponsored by the Friends of the Oshkosh Public Library and library personnel staff the conference.  The Friends sponsorship helps make this conference unique among all writers’ conferences.
The Keynote Speaker this year is Wisconsin author Nicholas Butler, author of Shotgun Lovesongs, Beneath the Bonfire, and The Hearts of Men (to be released September 2017).  He will be speaking at 2:30 Saturday afternoon, May 13th.
The conference begins on Friday afternoon May 12, 2017 with three different segments.  In each segment attendees have a choice of three presenters to choose.  Each presentation will be 50 minutes allowing time for an in depth presentation and an opportunity to ask questions and engage in a conversation with the presenter and other attendees.  Presenters Friday afternoon include:  Barry Wightman, Pat Zietlow Miller, Beth Amos, Johanna Garton, Mary T. Wagner, Wayne Brietbarth, Karla Huston, Brea Behn, and Kristine D. Adams.  In the evening there will be a Writing Contest Award Ceremony in the Oshkosh Public Library.
Saturday morning the Book Exhibition begins at 8:00 am to give attendees the opportunity to purchase books from presenters and other local authors.   Saturday presenters include Louis V. Clark III, Jerome F. Buting, Jill Swensen, Chris Walker, KW Penndorf, two author panels and Rex Owens.  The afternoon begins with  Det. Jeremy Wilson, an author panel,  Kristen Bratonja and the Keynote address.  The conference closes with a book autograph session and announcing door prizes.
There will be a variety of interesting topics such as; the writing craft, the business of publishing and self-publishing, and authors discussing their books and genre.
Registration ends on Friday, May 5th.  The basic cost to attend the two day conference is only $60.00.  Visit the conference website at:  http://lakeflywriters.org/node/25.  Registration includes lunch on Saturday.  You may also sign up for a vendor’s table for an additional fee.
All writers need to invest in themselves and spend time with other authors; the Lakefly Writers Conference is the perfect investment in yourself.  Plan on attending.     
  
 

​“That”
‘That’ can be a pronoun, as in ‘that is a good idea.’
‘That’ can be a determiner, as in ‘he lived in Chicago at that time.’
‘That’ can be an adverb, as in ‘I would not go that far.’
‘That’ can be a conjunction, as in ‘she said that she was satisfied.’
 
That’s a lot of uses for a little four letter word.  In working on the writing style for the manuscript for my third novel I noticed a lot of “that’s”.  It was disturbing.  In almost every case “that” added nothing to the sentence and because there were so many of them, it was distracting.
I decided to weed out every unnecessary “that”, which meant about 98% of them.  In the first 20 pages of my manuscript I found more than 30 “that’s” Can you believe it?
This has been a self-revelation, a disturbing one.  I am committed to search and destroy every “that” in my manuscript no matter how long it takes.
Unfortunately, I don’t have any explanation for my infatuation with “that”.  It happens, I guess, it sneaks up on a writer without you taking notice.
My advice, do a search of common words in your writing.  You too may discover you have that problem.