The Stories (Little Chute 4th Grade Elementary)

Saturday night about 6:00 pm there was a sharp rap-rap-rap on the front door.  Living 15 miles from Madison in the country visitors are rare and none were expected Saturday night.  I opened the door and saw the tail lights of a US Mail truck rushing down our steep driveway.  A large padded envelope was resting against the porch railing.  The package arrived!  I realized at once the package contained the finished stories from the 4th Grade Little Chute Elementary Class.  The teacher sent me an e-mail earlier in the week promising they would be delivered on Saturday.

The package was heavy and stiff; there was something more than 23 stories inside.  I ripped open one end of the giant bubble envelope to find a beautiful cutting board in the shape of the State of Wisconsin and a red Wisconsin Timber Rattlers pocket folder with a tag in the lower right hand corner:  Mr. Owens.  The left pocket held a letter from the teachers explaining that the cutting board was a token of their appreciation.  The cutting board was made by the husband one of the teachers.  He is a master carpenter and cabinet maker and I learned from the gift – an artist.

I scheduled quiet time for myself Sunday afternoon so that I could read all the stories at a single sitting.   That was the right decision.  Of the 23 stories there were five that were outstanding – amazing.  Each of the five stories had complex plots and demonstrated good writing craft.  I’m going to share the stories with you.

The first is titled:  “The Break”   The story is about Jason who is accidently caught up in a bank robbery, arrested, escapes from the local jail, steals the bank’s video proving his innocence and captures the real thief.  With the video the judge releases Jason.  This complex plot is written in a page and a half.  The opening sentence is:  “Jason is walking to his car to ride to the bank.  The air is crisp and cool.  He hops into his small, silver car.”  The introduction gives us action, description and creates the scene.    To add complexity to the story Jason is a flawed character because he escapes from jail to prove his innocence and takes matters into his own hands.  The story is filled with action:  “He uses the mop to zip line onto the floor.  He is out!  “That was a handful!” exclaimed Jason.  This story even includes creative attribution for the dialogue.  This student clearly has mastered several writing craft skills.    

The second is titled:  “Vacation”   This is a story about a family vacation to Colorado.  This student effectively uses dialogue to move the story along:  “Can we go now?” Autumn asks.  “In a minute Autumn, let the little ones eat a little something so they don’t whine the whole time!” he says even angrier now.’  While hiking one of the children slips down a cliff.  The parents try to rescue their daughter but are themselves stuck on the cliff overnight.  The family survives sleeping in the open on a bed of leaves and is rescued the next morning.  Back in their car driving home Autumn falls asleep:  “Autumn dreams of being home drawing pictures with her mom, hot tea set on a coaster next to her.” A strong conclusion in a single sentence.

Third is:  “Broken Hearts” This is another story of a family vacation.  This is the story opening:  “Ok, I’m ready!” Jessie shouted up the stairs to her mom and dad.  “Do you have the sleeping bags?” her dad shouted back.’  In two sentences with dialogue we have the scene created, action and know the family is about to take a camping trip, by showing not telling.  From this point the story turns dark.  The children are asleep and the parents go out for dinner.  The parents are involved in a car accident and are killed.  Here’s how we learn of the accident: ‘“I can’t believe mom and dad are . . . dead, and how did they die? Lily asked breaking the silence.  “They were in a major car crash,” Jessie answered back tears still slowly dripping down her cheek.’  The children are in shock and we even learn one of the children’s thoughts:  Ah, alone at last and I still wonder if – and that thought got interrupted by of one of the desk ladies.’  The hospital contacts their grandparents and the children move-in, secure once again.     

The fourth is:  “Land of Slides” This is a story about a family visiting a water park.  Four years prior Lynda had an unfortunate accident at a water park and she was apprehensive and nervous.  After riding a called Time Warp she can’t find her Dad.  Lynda is accidently bumped into the water and she can’t swim. “Her hands scrabbled over the wet tiles, desperately grabbing for a handhold.”  The conclusion poses a question to the reader:  “Lynda said, “I never-ever-ever want to go to another water park again.”   I wouldn’t blame her, would you?”  Asking this question engages the reader.  

The final story is:  “The Losts” This story is about a family vacation to Boston.  The opening paragraph sets the stage for the story:  “The subway train stopped.  The doors opened.  Andrew, almost choking, got off the train.  People were rushing past Andrew.  “Why are people so rude here, Mom?”  In a few succinct sentences we know where the story takes place and that a large city is very new to this family.  Later in the subway station Andrew loses his family.  A subway employee, Henry, spots Andrew crying and offers help.  With Henry’s help Andrew is reunited with his parents.  Later Andrew tells his friends about being lost in Boston.  “Some of his friends asked if Henry was an angel.  But the truth is, Andrew didn’t know and he still doesn’t.”  The plot is classic, the conflict/tension is real and the conclusion strong. 

All of these stories demonstrate imagination and strong story telling in addition to using time tested writing craft skills.  My guess is that one day we will be reading stories and novels from these students.  I hope so, don’t you?